I have watched with amazement how Andrew Symonds has been made to enjoy his time at “Bigg Boss – Season Five” – an Indian based television reality show.
10. Michael Slater: Has his name in India-Australia controversies after finger-pointing, shouting and abusing Messrs Rahul Dravid and Umpire Srinivas Venkataraghavan – two of the humblest people on planet earth, at Mumbai 2001. His claim was that umpire or batsmen should not use their brains or sight and only agree with his opinion – that he took the catch and hence the batsman is out. Commentator Ian Chappell expressed surprise how the match referee allowed Slater to stay on and didn’t help him catch an early flight back home.
9.Mathew Hayden: Another bully who found ways to decide on-field incidences. Sydney altercation was between Andrew Symonds and Harbhajan Singh, but big bully Haydos was around to pull the strings and ensured he blew up the incident to proportions which even he couldn’t handle. His favourite food – “obnoxious weeds”!
8. Glen McGrath: He can abuse you, your team members, your mom, your parents, your sisters, about your sexual acts with team members to any length.. but, but..you cannot say anything about his wife. Have you ever heard such rules while abusing in a street fight? McGrath creates them while abusing anyone and everyone. Roshan Mahanama’s book alleges him calling Sanath Jayasuriya “a black monkey”. So frequently did he bypass limits that even the ever cool Sachin Tendulkar had to shower expletives on him, after thumping him over-boundary, in 2000 Champions Trophy. His USP – Master at pressurizing umpires and getting SBW type horror decisions!
7. Steve Waugh: Inventor of the famous term “Mental Disintegration” and brand ambassador of the so-called “Aussie spirit” – which says on field we can abuse you, but off field can drink a beer! Now, haven’t we heard this before – from college seniors during ragging, or from over dominant micromanaging bosses in office – essentially a bullying line. Mate, we would like to thrash you, abuse you, get umpires to give you horror decisions, get around match referees, lead a series 2-0 and then invite you to have a beer with me. Hope you join me! His USP – doesn’t like anyone else playing mental disintegration games with him but likes to spend time alone in the pitch… waiting for the opposition captain to turn up for the toss!
6.Daryl Harper: Inventor of the unofficial dismissal term SBW ie “shoulder before wicket” – need I say where it happened and with whom? Harper had to retire from umpiring after India had heavily criticized his performance in a test match vs West Indies. That’s wasn’t the first time though, English team and skipper Nasser Hussain had once lodged a formal complaint asking his removal from any form of match officiating. Favourite food – “Anything Asian”!
5.Darrell Hair: Will find his place multiple times in cricket’s top controversies. In the nineties he was famously known as the umpire who no-balled Muralitharan, in the next decade he was known for granting a test match to England and accusing Pakistani bowlers of ball tampering and cheating with little evidence. Sissy boy had later retired claiming he was being racially discriminated! In between, he stood as the chief reason why the concept of neutral umpires was fast tracked into test cricket. His ineptitude should have been detected in his debut test though, when India, the better team, lost a nail biter at Adelaide 1992. According to Wisden, the test was “marred … by controversial lbw decisions – eight times Indians were given out, while all but two of their own appeals were rejected”. Favourite food – “Anything Asian”
4. Michael Clarke: Similar to Slater, doesn’t wait for umpire’s views, will himself decide on which catch was cleanly taken. Refuses to walk even after getting a thick edge flying all the way to first slip – the fact which forced the famous line from the otherwise ever-balanced Anil Kumble during Sydneygate 2008 that “Only one team was playing in the spirit of the game”. Clarke’s standing, despite being cleanly out vs England at Gabba, had also generated hot-spot controversies. But when he walked, the Australian vice captain actually flew away from New Zealand, abandoning his team in 2010, mid-tour, to join his hot fiancée Lara Bingle, who was involved in a nude photo controversy.. some drama this! His other USP – high publicized dressing room bust-ups with team mate… right Simon Katich?
3. Ricky Ponting: Wants to be counted amongst the best in history of the game despite having a test average of 26.8 at India! (Would Rahul Dravid have been counted so had he averaged this number at Australia?). Cry baby, will call Interpol to investigate whenever he sees a subcontinent pitch expected to generate spin. That’s because he probably lacked spine and was only good with his index finger – in declaring batsman out just because Michael Clarke claims he caught the catch or rudely gesturing an Indian cabinet minister to hand over the trophy. Has had altercations with just about everyone and has smashed dressing room television, window glass and doors! His USP – facing rookie under-21 age group bowlers – Harbhajan Singh 2001, Ishant Sharma 2008!
2. Greg Chappell: Inventor of the underarm delivery and pioneer at publicity seeking. Had an active set of fingers – middle for the people of Kolkata, thumb for sending smss of the team’s secrets to journalists and rest of them, to email BCCI. The team, which he was himself managing. Had famously termed Sachin Tendulkar and Sourav Ganguly as running the team like a “mafia”. ACB recently sacked him after players termed his influence was ‘caustic’ and that he was driving people ‘mad’ to the point that players had to ban him from the dressing room. His USP – taking top cricketing teams and getting them to give their worst ever performances – India 2007, Australia 2010. Also converting all-rounder’s to bits and pieces players .. right Irfan?
1. Shane Warne: Receiving gifts in cash from bookies to leak match related information (in other nations its termed and punished as match fixing), cheating on his wife multiple times, harassing smss with South African blonde, lewd messages to British nurse resulting in loss of vice captaincy, newspaper published photographs of the Sheikh in underwear romping with a pair of naked models, multiple times separation with wife, banned for drug taking, smoking issues, drinking issues and overweight issues. If that’s not all, swearing unlimited, and a master at pressurizing opposition and on field match officials. Have a look at the numerous times Warnie goes ooh and aaah after the short wide ball went one and half feet outside the offstump. Warnie’s oohs and aahs will give you the feeling it missed the off stump by a millimetre. His USP – Born in Australia! Had he been born anywhere else he would have been banned from the game long time ago.