Bollywood to Sachinwood: XI best dialogues

For one sixth of the world’s population this weekend is special. First, 22nd April was christened as ‘SandStorm Day’ on social media – an obvious tribute to World cricketing legend Sachin Tendulkar’s innings, on same date in year 1998, vs Australia at Sharjah. Secondly, 24th April will mark the great man’s 43rd birthday.

Since my introductory paragraph already has threaded a string of praiseworthy words, let me try making this writeup different to the billion articles, you and I, would have already read about SRT.

  
The abbreviation SRT is strikingly similar to SRK, the king of Bollywood. Bollywood is the one domain where Sachin hasn’t tried his skills. But in a country where the national cricket captain, Bollywood Khans and SRT are more popular than the prime minister, it is worth a ‘dekho’ had SRT been in movies, or atleast been filmy himself, what would have been his dialogues like.

  

India stands a nation where milk is poured, coconuts are cracked and traditional worshipping rituals conducted over any superstar’s larger than life cut outs. This is routine. So success for Sachinwood alongside Bollywood is guaranteed, irrespective of the little man’s physical attributes.

    

Naturally he writes his own script, just as in cricket. So here’s how Bollywood’s famous dialogues would have been in ‘Sachinwood’.
1. “Haar kar jeetne waale ko Baazigar kahte hain .. aur jeet kar jeetne waale ko Tendulkar kahte hain.” – film ‘Baazigar vs Tendulkar’

   

2. Shahid Afridi: “Sachin miyan maidan me waapas kab aa rahe ho? Maine to apne pahle retirement ke baad kuch world cup bhi khel chuka hoon.”

Sachin: “Ek baar jo maine retirement kar di, so kar di … uske baad to main khud ki bhi nahi sunta.” – film ‘Afridi: Unwanted Pakistan me, Pyar Hindustan me’

  

3. Jacques Kallis: “Mere pass batting records hai, bowling records hai, fielding records hai, Australia pe wins hai, model biwi hai. Tumhare pass kya hai?”

Sachin: “Mere pass World Cup winners medal hai. World Cup finalists medal bhi hai.” – film ‘Chokers tag bane Deewar’

  

4. Sachin: “Jo main bolta hun who main karta hoon, Jo main nahi bolta hoon who main definitely karta hoon”

– film ‘Akhtar Caddick 2003’

  

5. Steve Waugh : “Car se aane waale aksar der se aate hain.”

Sachin: “Specially jab car Ferrari ho aur tax bharna baaki ho.. ha ha.”

Sourav: “Steve Waugh, car ya no car, there liye to main hamesha der se aaunga… ha ha ha.” – film ‘Aakraman series 2001’

  

6. Sachin song “Bombay se aaya mera dost, Vinod ko salaam karne ki koi zaroorat nahi.” – film ‘Desh ki khatir’ 

7. Sachin : “Sachin. Ramesh. Tendulkar. Poora naam. Baap ka naam, umar, gaon wagehra jaane ki zaroorat nahi. Sirf naam hi kaafi hai” – film ‘Australiapath

8. Captain Sachin: “Aadhe batsmen sirf singles pe khelo, aadhe apni wicket bachao, baaki mere sath aao.” Turns back to find no one with him. – film ‘Akalya’

  
9. Azhar : “The boys played well but main strategy pe kuch bolna chahta hun?”

Captain Sachin : “Jab tak ek khiladi bol raha hai, ek kaptaan sun raha hai…jab ek gaddar bolega, tab ek imaandaar sunega” – film ‘Gaddaaron ke beech Gadar’  

10. Sachin: “Warnie, aapke bowling dekhe, bahut haseen hai. Inhe zameen par mat utariyega, bahut pitai ho jayegi.” – film ‘Razzaqzah’

  

11. Sachin : “Kaun kambakht records ke liye khelta hai? Main toh khelta hoon ki bas saans le saku, fans ko khushi de saku.” – film ‘Kapil Dev to SS Das’

Have a good weekend. Tension lene ka nahin, sirf opposition ko dene ka!

  

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