Cricket: 20 Jokes – The BCCI Laughter challenge show!

Welcome to the BCCI mess and laughter show, that occurred in June – July 2017 with the excuse of selecting a new head coach. A comical process that took our cricket back by exactly one year!

Joke 1: BCCI set up a Cricket Advisory Committee (CAC), seemingly, to oust Ravi Shastri in June 2016. In 365 days, they do everything so that CAC has no option but to choose Ravi Shastri as head coach!

Joke 2: BCCI puts CAC to select coach but gives them no accountability for results or for other issues! CAC haven’t been able to resolve conflicts, haven’t been able to select coach of their choice in 2017, have all their decisions overturned and don’t get any credit for India’s good results either!.

Joke 3: CAC’s job description probably has been to select a buddy star coach who will automatically get credit for wins but the team will get brickbats for losses. Anil Kumble selected last year. This year, Viru Sehwag had the longest interview, with the least credentials.

Joke 4: BCCI never bothered or came to know about Kohli-Kumble relationship issues, even when there was smoke all over.

Joke 5: BCCI doesn’t even once get Kohli, Kumble & CAC to sit in one room and sort out the issues! In one month, they could never arrange this one sitting, despite all stakeholders roaming in almost the same cities of United Kingdom!

Joke 6: CAC and BCCI give Kumble one month extension. One month! Neither asks to leave nor gives time till World Cup 2019. Maybe they thought the Caribbean Islands will have a healing effect on Kumble-Kohli relationship.

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Joke 7: Joke 1 – Joke 6 are all happening in between limited overs cricket’s second most important event, the ICC Champions Trophy 2017. Indian team trying to be fully focused, fighting hard, in that event, as defending champions!

Joke 8: BCCI doesn’t monitor Kumble’s resignation status and doesn’t even stop Kumble from publicizing it for public consumption (and letting out dressing room tensions).

Joke 9: BCCI asks CAC to again select coach …. back to June 2016! Eight candidates seriously apply plus one joke of an applicant applies! But then, CAC has powers to appoint anyone! Remember? So Sachin Tendulkar asks Ravi Shastri to apply as a sign of fiasco for all other applicants! Overnight Ravi Shastri becomes front-runner!

Joke 10: Media and public are still blaming Virat Kohli as arrogant, selfish, thinks himself as god etc. Sourav Ganguly meanwhile comes out and says, Virat Kohli had no input on coach selection, but but … refer to Joke 12!

Joke 11: CAC interviews one of the candidates with least managing credentials – Virendra Sehwag – for the longest time, two hours. Overnight Sehwag becomes front-runner. Shastri and Moody getting real moody by now, once again!

Joke 12: CAC comes out and says there is enough time to select a coach, before that we will need to teach Kohli a lesson or two about how coaches work! Next day BCCI says there is no time left, announce the coach now. Shastri wins, somehow! Back to June 2016.

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Joke 13: Shastri wants his previous (2016) support staff, Bharath Arun, to rejoin as bowling coach. But CAC says, nothing doing, our buddies Zaheer Khan & Rahul Dravid will support you! Both Zak and Dravid are wondering where their names came from!

Joke 14: CAC or BCCI never asked for applications for bowling and batting coaches. Applications were asked only for head coach … rest of the support staff were supposed to be cherry picked! Not from the head coaches application form, but from CAC own buddy list or Facebook friend list!

Joke 15: BCCI agrees. Days later BCCI disagrees…. Ravi Shastri gets his 2016 bowling coach back!

Joke 16: Shastri is trolled as to bullying to get his own support team. Everyone forgets once Kumble was appointed coach, the well praised Bharath Arun was shown the door. Every corporate head, department head, ministry head, football manager etc always select own support staff. To appease the troll, Shastri has now asked for Sachin Tendulkar (remember Joke 9?) as batting coach!

Joke 17: Am still trying to figure out what exactly is the role and responsibility of the CAC and do they actually pay to BCCI (!) to do this role? Last I hear, they will be disbanded too!

Joke 18: In between Indian cricket team played matches somewhere which hardly anyone followed – for the level of contest, quality of coverage, stars on display, unearthly viewing hours and the emotional fatigue after ICC Champions Trophy final loss. India won some, India lost some; but barring a few West Indians (!), no other Indian remembers the results two days on!

Joke 19: The South Indian media and fans don’t like all this. They believe overthrowing South Indian Anil Kumble and getting Mumbaikar Ravi Shastri back on Virat Kohli’s preference is centre’s imposition of Hindi and North Indian attitude on entire India!

Joke 20: Media and public are still blaming Virat Kohli as arrogant, selfish, thinks himself as God etc… Snooze Zzzzzzzz!

Bonus Joke: All this is thanks to new BCCI formed after much backed Lodha Committee report implementation, sacking Anurag Thakur, nailing N Srinivasan and eradicating all conflicts of interest, supposedly! Still ends up as top laughing-stock and troll target!

 

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